and I think I might have almost lost him today, and that’s frightening.
but there’s a certain spark that has to be there and it just wasn’t there.
they look at me like I’ve got three heads
like I’m doing it for attention
that someone who looks like me
that someone with my personality
couldn’t possibly go home every day
and fight being swallowed whole by the pain that plagues him.
They look at me like I’m a liar.
and the only thing worse than being depressed
is being depressed all alone.
If you can fix me
I will love you completely.
It is a sickness
People get a false impressions of closeness and intimacy when I share sexual stuff with them. What gets me going, what doesn’t, what I have and haven’t done with who, etc.
I will tell that to pretty much anyone who sincerely wants to talk about it.
Sharing emotional stuff with you means we’re close.
Because there is only one person I’ve ever broken down for. One person who has really seen all the walls come tumbling down, and everything turn raw.
That’s how you tell if we’re close.
“I’m sorry for bothering you.” he wrote. I scoffed. There was no such thing as him bothering me.
“You are absolutely never a bother” I typed. I added a little text heart. To make it extra affectionate.
“Thank you. I feel better now. Night! :)” He responded. Then, I felt it coming on.
“Night! :)” I typed back. When I really meant “Wait, please never leave me.”
And I thought of it. I was wrong. There was one thing about him that bothered me, and that thing was that I couldn’t be around him all the time. But how do you tell someone that… ?
I guess you don’t.
Why am I doing it?